After driving three hours to get to the closest Planned Parenthood, Gladis Gonzales sits in the waiting room for her yearly check-up. As she waits, Gladis reviews the current facts:

  • A US presidential term lasts four years with the possibility of being reelected once.
  • Generally, a woman has about thirty-nine child-bearing years.
  • A supreme court justice, once appointed, lives out a life sentence or until they are gently pressured into retiring. There are currently nine seats in the Supreme Court of the United States.
  • A hormonal IUD, like Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla, lasts about three to six years inside a woman’s body.
  • A hormone-free IUD, like the ParaGard, lasts up to twelve years inside a woman’s body.
  • In twelve years, Gladis will be thirty-nine years old and twelve years away from the average age of menopause.
  • If Gladis were to have a hormone-free IUD implanted inside her body, these would be the ages in twelve years’ time of the justices (leaving a blank space for the seat yet to be filled): John Roberts, Chief Justice—75; ____________________; Clarence Thomas, Associate Justice—82; Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Associate Justice—98; Stephen Breyer, Associate Justice—91; Samuel Alito, Associate Justice—80; Sonia Sotomayor, Associate Justice—76; Elena Kagan, Associate Justice—70; and Neil Gorsuch, Associate Justice—62.
  • Gladis has now been sexually active for exactly six years. So far, she has had six sexual partners, with half of them added to the list this past year. In six years, she has had no STI’s and has bought exactly six pregnancy tests. However, her period was actually late only two of the times she bought the tests. The other four times were fixations routed in the deep fear and shame of the possibility of having to tell her very Catholic and Latina mother that she was pregnant, not married, and not in a committed relationship.

All this being said, if Roe vs. Wade were to get repealed, or female health care were to become even more restricted, at what age do you predict Gladis will finally have a healthy relationship with her sexual and human body without the heavy guilt of being perceived as a promiscuous slut with no concern for herself, her partner, or her potential future child?

Answer: √-1