INT. WHITE HOUSE – NEW EMPLOYEE RECEPTION
SALLY YATES, MICHAEL FLYNN, JAMES COMEY, SEAN SPICER, REINCE PRIEBUS, STEVE BANNON, SEBASTIAN GORKA, TOM PRICE, OMAROSA MANIGAULT, ROB PORTER, HOPE HICKS, GARY COHN, REX TILLERSON, and others all stand around schmoozing.
REX TILLERSON: This is going to be the best four years ever!
NARRATOR (V.O.): This spring…
INT. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
JAMES COMEY and SALLY YATES are working late when they hear a door slam.
JAMES COMEY: What was that?
SALLY YATES: Stay here, I’ll investigate.
NARRATOR (V.O.):… enter a House . . .
INT. WHITE HOUSE – NATIONAL SECURITY OFFICES
KATIE WALSH: Have you seen Sally or James lately?
MICHAEL FLYNN: They’re probably just off on a witch hunt somewhere together.
K.T. MCFARLAND: Did you guys hear that?
NARRATOR (V.O.):… where nobody stays for long
EXT. WHITE HOUSE BUSHES – DAY
REINCE PRIEBUS: Sean, what are you doing hiding in there?
SEAN SPICER: I think something’s happened to Sally, James, Michael, Katie, K.T., Michael Short, and Derek Harvey.
COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR MICHAEL DUBKE: You’re just being paranoid… wait, what was that?
NARRATOR (V.O.): Who would be foolish enough to enter such a house?
INT. WHITE HOUSE – PRESS ROOM
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI enters.
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI: Hey, what’s up cocksu-ACK!
INT. WHITE HOUSE – WEST WING
SEBASTIAN GORKA: They got Mooch!
TOM PRICE: Who?
A floorboard creeks.
STEVE BANNON (slurred): Who’s out there? You think I’m afraid of you? I built this goddamn administration!
INT. WHITE HOUSE – OVAL OFFICE
HOPE HICKS: Rob! They’re all gone! Sally, Michael, Katie, K.T., James, Michael, Michael, Derek, Sean, Reince, The Mooch, Steve, Sebastian, Dina Powell, Omarosa, Rachel Brand, and Josh Raffel!
ROB PORTER: Shhhh, I’ll protect you.
A shadow envelops HOPE and ROB. They both scream.
INT. WHITE HOUSE – BASEMENT
NARRATOR (V.O.): Who knows what depraved secrets this once great house holds?
GARY COHN is surrounded by big boxes that say RACISM, XENOPHOBIA, and WHITE SUPREMACY. He opens a small box labeled TARIFFS.
GARY COHN: Oh… my… God!
NARRATOR (V.O.): Who will be next?
Quick shots of H.R. McMASTER, DAVID SHULKIN, SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, JEFF SESSIONS, ROD ROSENSTEIN, and TED NUGENT.
A cellphone rests on a desk. Suddenly, a Twitter alert appears on its screen. A mysterious hand picks up the phone.
REX TILLERSON: Nooooooooo!!
NARRATOR (V.O.): The Trump White House.