He keeps talking about his Phonebook profile.

He wears jeans that are neither skinny nor sagging.

He is very excited about the relationship between Conway West and Kim Cardigan.

He claims to smoke the finest hashtag.

He asks a stranger to take his selfie.

He tries to buy an instagram of cocaine.

He watches TV shows when they actually air.

He arms himself with aerosol cans, and wonders where the Huffington Post is.

He texts ROFL when he’s “running out for lunch”.

He still has a Myspace page.