Cinderella: They were too bold with last year’s production of Chicago. This one is for the school board.

Phantom of the Opera: They haven’t heard about the drama club budget cuts yet.

Spamalot: They led their college improv comedy group.

Book of Mormon: They were rejected from their college improv comedy group.

Les Miserables: Some stuff went missing from the drama room last year. It’s time to teach about the consequences of stealing.

Wicked…then Shrek: Michael’s was having a sale on green face paint.

The Twenty-Fifth Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee: They forgot to check the school calendar; the musical is double-booked with the actual school spelling bee.

Spring Awakening: Director is also the sex ed teacher.

Little Shop of Horrors: They saw Rick Moranis on the subway in ’89 and will spend the rehearsal process telling everybody about it. It was not Rick Moranis.

The Last Five Years: Director publicly working out some demons from their divorce.

Once: Exactly one senior boy plays guitar.

Into the Woods: They saw act one on PBS; very excited to see how things pan out for everybody in act two.

West Side Story: They think racial inequity can be solved through lots of song and even more snapping.

Oliver!: Thinks students begging for food in the show is great practice for begging for jobs after college.

The Producers: Unfortunately confident that the parents in town won’t have any problem seeing a swastika on stage.

Anything Goes: They teach tap at the adult annex five nights a week.

Carousel: They think Billy Bigelow was misunderstood and also women shouldn’t be so sensitive.

Rent: They’re a cash-strapped teacher who thinks the message of heroically not paying your rent should be heard by the entire community, especially their disgruntled landlord.

Sweeney Todd: Director wants to see students die on stage.

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark: Director wants to see students die on stage.