ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Carlos Greaves
Carlos is an Afro-Latino engineer, writer, and filmmaker. He writes the weekly humor newsletter Shades of Greaves if you’re into that sort of thing. His first book, Spoilers: Essays That Might Ruin Your Favorite Hollywood Movies, which includes essays based on work that previously appeared in McSweeney’s, was highlighted in Vulture’s Best Comedy Books of 2023.
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June 24, 2021We Can’t Teach Our Nuclear Plant Operators About Critical Reactor Theory and Risk Them Learning About Radiation
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May 17, 2021Introducing Kaybl: The New Service That Bundles Your Favorite Content for One Flat Monthly Fee!
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May 4, 2021Sure, Velociraptor Repellent Is 95% Effective Against Velociraptor Attacks, But Do We Really Need to Wear It to Visit Jurassic Park?
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April 21, 2021We Need to Prepare Our City in Case the Police Start Rioting
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April 16, 2021As a Republican, I Believe White Men Are Boys, Boys of Color Are Men, and Underage Girls Are Consenting Adults
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March 29, 2021I Support Restrictions on Constitutional Rights If They Prevent Something Dangerous from Happening, Like Too Many Black People Voting
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March 18, 2021Editorial Template for Every Time a White Person Commits an Atrocious Crime
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January 15, 2021Even I, Satan, Am Appalled at the State of the Republican Party
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December 22, 2020In Lieu of Economic Stimulus, the Capitol Is Pleased to Announce the First Annual Hunger Games
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December 10, 2020Modern Yiddish Insults for the Outgoing President
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December 3, 2020Even Though We Have Done Nothing Wrong, I, Vito Corleone, Am Pardoning My Entire Family
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November 20, 2020Quiz: Should You Expose Your Relative to COVID-19 This Thanksgiving?
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian