ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Carlos Greaves
Carlos is an Afro-Latino engineer, writer, and filmmaker. He writes the weekly humor newsletter Shades of Greaves if you’re into that sort of thing. His first book, Spoilers: Essays That Might Ruin Your Favorite Hollywood Movies, which includes essays based on work that previously appeared in McSweeney’s, was highlighted in Vulture’s Best Comedy Books of 2023.
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November 4, 2020In Retrospect, Maybe Surveying Fifteen People Outside of a Publix In Sarasota Was a Bad Way to Conduct a Statewide Poll
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October 27, 2020President Hillary Clinton’s Latest Coronavirus Task Force Briefing
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October 5, 2020Just Because I Was Mauled by Velociraptors Doesn’t Mean I Haven’t Done an Excellent Job Handling the Velociraptor Attacks
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September 24, 2020Editorial Template For Every Time a Grand Jury Acquits a Police Officer
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August 28, 2020Gun Ownership In America: A Flowchart
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August 19, 2020Schedule of Speakers for the 2020 Republican National Convention
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August 4, 2020Jurassic Park Is Last, Which Means We’re First
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July 28, 2020Sending In More Stormtroopers Is the Only Way to Restore Law and Order to the Rogue Planet of Alderaan
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July 1, 2020We Shouldn’t Presume That the Velociraptor Experts Know the Best Way to Deal With Velociraptor Attacks
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June 17, 2020Just Because They’ve Turned Against Humanity Doesn’t Mean We Should Defund the Terminator Program
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June 1, 2020The Only Acceptable Form of Black Protest Is to Stand in This Field In Rural Nebraska and Scream Into the Void
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May 6, 2020Sure, the Velociraptors Are Still On the Loose, But That’s No Reason Not to Reopen Jurassic Park
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian