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Articles by
Carlos Greaves
Carlos is an Afro-Latino engineer, writer, and filmmaker. He writes the weekly humor newsletter Shades of Greaves if you’re into that sort of thing. His first book, Spoilers: Essays That Might Ruin Your Favorite Hollywood Movies, which includes essays based on work that previously appeared in McSweeney’s, was highlighted in Vulture’s Best Comedy Books of 2023.
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October 27, 2020President Hillary Clinton’s Latest Coronavirus Task Force Briefing
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October 5, 2020Just Because I Was Mauled by Velociraptors Doesn’t Mean I Haven’t Done an Excellent Job Handling the Velociraptor Attacks
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September 24, 2020Editorial Template For Every Time a Grand Jury Acquits a Police Officer
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August 28, 2020Gun Ownership In America: A Flowchart
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August 19, 2020Schedule of Speakers for the 2020 Republican National Convention
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August 4, 2020Jurassic Park Is Last, Which Means We’re First
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July 28, 2020Sending In More Stormtroopers Is the Only Way to Restore Law and Order to the Rogue Planet of Alderaan
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July 1, 2020We Shouldn’t Presume That the Velociraptor Experts Know the Best Way to Deal With Velociraptor Attacks
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June 17, 2020Just Because They’ve Turned Against Humanity Doesn’t Mean We Should Defund the Terminator Program
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June 1, 2020The Only Acceptable Form of Black Protest Is to Stand in This Field In Rural Nebraska and Scream Into the Void
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May 6, 2020Sure, the Velociraptors Are Still On the Loose, But That’s No Reason Not to Reopen Jurassic Park
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April 21, 2020Eight Kinds of Food Delivery Customers During the Coronavirus Crisis
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May 19, 2025A Company Reminder for Everyone to Talk Nicely About the Giant Plagiarism Machine
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June 3, 2025New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
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June 6, 2025I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
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May 8, 2025An Open Letter to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Who Thinks My Daughter Is a Tragedy
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