ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Send your nonfictional open letters to openletters@mcsweeneys.net.
(Submission guidelines)
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October 15, 2020An Open Letter to Green Ginger, the Asian Fusion Restaurant Across the Street From Me
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September 30, 2020An Open Letter to My Lactose Intolerant Friend Regarding My COVID Intolerance
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September 18, 2020An Open Letter to My Kindergarten Teacher Who Taught Me Everything I Needed to Know (About Racism and White Supremacy)
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July 31, 2020An Open Letter to the T&T Supermarket Clerk Who Was Told to “Go Back to China” as Part of a Customer’s Racist Tirade in Mississauga, Ontario
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July 15, 2020An Open Letter to My Friend That Fled New York for His Parents’ House
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July 7, 2020An Open Letter to Straight Couples Who Have Been Quarantining Together After Only Dating For a Few Weeks From a Lesbian Who’s Been There Before
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June 25, 2020An Open Letter to the White Food Blogger Who Just Discovered the Middle Eastern Staples That Have Kept Me Alive for the Last Two Decades
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June 18, 2020An Open Letter to the Class of 2020 From a Dad Who Deserves Sympathy Too
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June 16, 2020An Open Letter to the College Roommate I’ve Barely Spoken to Since Freshman Year Who Keeps Referring to Me as His Black Friend
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June 10, 2020An Open Letter to the Expression “I Can’t Even”
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January 27, 2020An Open Letter to Preschool Homework
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November 4, 2019An Open Letter to My Dead Grandmother, Who Last June Started to Build a Bird Sanctuary In the Front Yard, But Who Then, Last July, Died, Leaving Us a Dry, Patchy Landing Strip of Horticultural Nonsense, and a Dream
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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June 14, 2022My Favorite Controlled Substance Is Daycare
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June 27, 2022We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
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July 1, 2022FAQ: Freedom
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July 1, 2022A Declaration of Independence from the United States Supreme Court
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 30, 2022I’d Rather Drag Your Lifeless Body from This Party Than Wait Here While You Go to the Bathroom