ARCHIVE

List: Daydreams I’ve Had About a Giant Hand and One About a Man With an Elongated Arm
by Anthony Messina (10/20/2006)

List: Titles Still Available for Taut, Fast-Paced Legal Thrillers
by Lars Ostrom (10/20/2006)

List: Rejected Names for Nerds Candy
by Hannah Schaefer (10/20/2006)

From The Grad Schoolyard: The Diarrhea Song
by Edward Fairchild, Jake Swearingen and Sam King (10/20/2006)

Celebrity Biographies Written By A Guy Who Cannot Distinguish Fiction From Reality
by Ben Joseph (10/19/2006)

Johnny Knoxville’s Letters To His Brother
by Justin Warner (10/18/2006)

Kevin Dolgin Tells You About Places You Should Go In Europe: The Château d’If
by Kevin Dolgin (10/17/2006)

Sestina: Fundamentals of Reinsurance
by Chad McCracken (10/16/2006)

Monologue: Aquaman, King of the Seven Seas, Has Fucking Had It With You, Man
by Glen Weldon (10/16/2006)

The Convergences Contest: A Pair of Convergences Off of Tina Barney
by Laura Myers and Whitney Sander (10/15/2006)

Submission Guidelines for Our Refrigerator Door
by Christopher Monks (10/13/2006)

List: Creationist Astronomers Polled Regarding Pluto’s Status
by David Harnden-Warwick (10/12/2006)

List: Jewish Holidays for Hipsters
by Michael Schulman (10/12/2006)

List: Wikipedia Articles Longer Than “Spain.”
by James Hannaway and Thomas Beckwith (10/12/2006)

FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Sweet Fields of Unfastened Terrain
by Bethlehem Shoals (10/12/2006)

Dan Liebert, Verbal Cartoonist: Roaches
by Dan Liebert (10/11/2006)

Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail And Discovers That His Bid For Tenure Has Been Denied
by Andy Bryan (10/11/2006)

Patriotic Songs Reworked For The Modern Age
by Michael J. Weingarth (10/10/2006)

List: Signs Your Unicorn is Cheating On You
by Christopher Monks (10/9/2006)

Sestina: The 13th-Hour Session: Discussions on the Rapture Debacle: 11:59 pm
by Andrew Neuendorf (10/9/2006)

Stories That Would Have Turned Out Differently If The Protagonists Had Had Cell Phones
by Peter Norvig (10/7/2006)

List: Probable Sequels to Breakin’ (1984) and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
by Whitey Eckerson (10/6/2006)

List: The Endings of 10 Famous Novels You Always Meant to Read but Never Got Around To
by Salom Teshale (10/6/2006)

List: They Might Be Giants, They Might Not—Who Knows?
by Jeffery S. Taylor (10/6/2006)

How to Trip the President
by Nathaniel Missildine (10/6/2006)

Your Corporate Store
by Diane Stilwell (10/5/2006)

Trip Advisory: The Boyhood Home Of Former President Ronald Reagan
by Amelia Gray (10/4/2006)

Mike Fink’s Performance Review
by James Erwin (10/3/2006)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Sister’s Psychotic Dogs
by Sherry H. Ciurczak (10/2/2006)

The Convergences Contest: Contest Winner #20: Christ in Space
by Jonathan Shipley (10/1/2006)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.