1. A disproportionate amount of your time is spent cleaning up messes and bringing him snacks.

2. He summons you by screaming your name at the top of his lungs.

3. He won’t stop talking about how he’s going to build a rocket ship and blast off into outer space.

4. He uses a lot of words that sound entirely made up.

5. When you tell him you need a day off, he laughs in your face.

6. He refuses to wear shoes.

7. He routinely overestimates his abilities.

8. He offers unsolicited deep insights about subjects he knows nothing about.

9. When he says something that doesn’t make sense, you smile, nod, and tell him he’s a genius.

10. He never pays taxes.

11. He has a room filled with toys that he refers to as his “office.”

12. Most days, he just sits at his little desk pretending to type until he falls asleep.

13. He wants to be a unicorn.

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Parent of Toddler: 1-13
Assistant to a Male CEO of a Tech Startup: 1-13