1. You know, from hard-won experience, that time here is fleeting, but your constant speechifying about it makes spending any time with you a real drag.

2. You’re hauling a ridiculously overloaded cart of specialized equipment packed with the precision of a winning game of Tetris, but most of it remains unused.

3. You’re all wearing the same thing every day, and while it should be uniformly unflattering on all of you, some of you manage to make it look completely adorable.

4. Supposedly waterproof items are all inexplicably soaked with fluid by the end of the day.

5. The food is absolutely terrible, and there’s way too much of it.

6. You beg those in your care to eat at regular intervals, or you’re all going to be miserable.

7. You’re distanced from everyday life, leading you to occasionally stare into the middle distance and realize how tenuous your connection to this world really is — and how it can snap at any moment.

8. These thoughts are usually interrupted by someone screaming about something wet — my god, it’s everywhere, how in the world did this happen?

9. Every day features at least one tense discussion about whether it’s possible to reach a toilet in time.

10. At least two members of your group are barely speaking to each other, but are definitely going to have desperate, angry sex later if they can find a door that locks.

11. There is a constant to-do list of items you must inflate, cut open, brace, sew up, or otherwise attend to, or the whole day will be a disaster.

12. Your surroundings are suffused with the smell of stale coffee, urine, and antiseptic spray.

13. Every day features at least one tense discussion about the proper time to declare you’ve done everything you can.

14. Part of you dreads the moment when you have to admit it’s all over, and the other part can’t wait to pack it all up and head home.

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Vacationing with children: 1-14
Gripping medical drama: 1-14