Email Signature Prior to Remote Learning:
Middle School English Instructor

Day 1 of Remote Learning:
Zoom Pioneer; Ardent Supporter of Dressing in Professional Attire to Maintain Normalcy During These Uncertain Times

Day 2:
Impromptu Remote IT Technician; Snooze Alarm Enthusiast

Day 3:
Censor of Inappropriate Usernames, Profile Pics, and Zoom Backgrounds Used By Students; Zoom Queen

Day 4:
Naïve Luddite Who, Turns Out, Is Outsmarted by Tech-Savvy Students Who Changed Their Zoom Background to a Screenshot of Themselves Hard At Work While They Were Actually Posting Videos On TikTok

Day 5:
Diligent Overseer Who Ensures Students Can’t Use SparkNotes On These Reading Quizzes She Spent All Weekend Redesigning

Day 6:
Skeptic-Turned-Fervent-Supporter of SparkNotes Because It Means the Students At Least Read Something

Day 7:
Remote Authority Figure Who is Unable to Deter Student with ADHD From Having Too Many Browser Tabs Open At Once

Day 8:
Teacher Who Officially Prefers a Loud, Boisterous Classroom Rather Than a Silent Virtual One; Dry-Shampoo Aficionado

Day 9:
Author of Thoughtful and Articulate Email Responses With a Quick Turn-Around Time to Foster Authentic Communication

Day 10:
Did You Know You Can Simply “Like” Emails Instead of Replying?

Day 11:
Unabashed Zealot of the “Mute All” Button; Newfound Believer In Sweatpants as Professional Attire

Day 12:
Tech Genius Who Phoned It In After Figuring Out How to Stream BBC’s Planet Earth Through Zoom

Day 13:
Celebrated Hero of the 8th Grade as She Now Dismisses Class 20 Minutes Early Because It’s Nice Outside and Time For Her Third Daily Meandering Stroll Around the Neighborhood

Day 14:
Exerciser of Admirable Restraint Against Temptation to Sip a Mug of Wine During Sixth Period

Day 15:
Part-Time Teacher, Full-Time Bingewatcher

Day 16:
Professional Counter-Downer to Summer Break (14 Days to Go)