1. All calendar appointments now default to repeating on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays. All calendar appointments created on Wednesdays will repeat on alternating weeks, excepting months that have five weeks, in which case they will appear only if there has been a blood moon.

2. You may now designate schedules as either “Parent” or “Child.” Whenever a conflict is discovered between a parent meeting and child meeting, your computer will automatically repeat the phrase, “Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM” for the duration of the parent meeting.

3. Our easy drag and drop scheduling in 15-minute increments has now been switched to easy drag and drop scheduling in 5- and 3-minute increments. This will allow you to easily schedule a “meeting” that begins at 10:32 and ends at 10:47, just as the schedule from your child’s teacher dictates.

4. Instead of having times blocked as “Busy” and “Available,” when you schedule an item you can now choose “Synchronous,” “Asynchronous,” or “Hahahahahaha, you took all the supervision that the teachers did for granted, didn’t you!”

5. All meetings labeled “Recess” or “Lunch” will automatically launch a GoNoodle video at maximum volume. There is no ability to disable this feature.

6. If you attempt to enter the schedule for more than one child, gremlins will emerge from your computer and eat your excess children. There is no option at this time for them to eat all of your children

NOTE: Unfortunately, Google Calendar is still unable to explain the differences between “small groups,” “independent work,” and “family connection time.” We hope to address this in the next update, but don’t bet on it.