Members of a Los Angeles-Area Cheesecake Factory Wait Staff (Listed in Order of Appearance)

Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Whiskey Blue Bar at the W Hotel

I Wish to Speak to the Chef

Monologue: The CEO of the Olive Garden Makes His Last Stand on the “Free Breadsticks” Issue

List: Students’ Responses to a Quiz on McDonald’s, Presented as Evidence That I Might Not Be Cutting It As an American Culture Teacher at a College in Ningbo, China

An Obituary for the Weekend

Nihilist Dad Jokes

Don’t Call It a Comeback: Seinfeld, Ep. 181 “The Grovel”

Oulipian Excerpts from All That is Evident is Suspect: Jean Lescure, from “The N+7 Method (An Individual Case of the W±n Method)”