Prince Robert Mueller is visited by the ghost of his father, who reveals his brother murdered him. Mueller decides revenge isn’t his job and goes back to college instead.

The Winter’s Tale

After King Leontes accuses his wife of adultery, he calls on an oracle named Robert Mueller for proof. Mueller says the queen is probably innocent, but he doesn’t say for certain because he doesn’t want to seem political.

Romeo and Juliet

When Romeo and Juliet visit his cell to get married, Friar Robert writes them a letter of recommendation that can be given to another friar, a judge, or (in certain territories) a licensed sea captain.

The Merchant of Venice

To save his friend Antonio from Shylock’s knife, Robert Mueller writes an essay explaining how a “pound of flesh” does not include a drop of blood. He gives this essay to Shylock’s lawyer, who summarizes the argument to the court.

King Lear

Robert Mueller, the Earl of Kent, gets banished for disagreeing with the king’s treatment of Cordelia. Mueller is happy to go away and never speak about the matter again.

Measure for Measure

Robert Mueller, the Duke of Vienna, disguises himself as a friar to see what would happen if Lord Angelo were running the city. Lord Angelo turns out to be a dick, and in response, Mueller gives a heavy sigh.

Henry IV, Part 1

Torn between the obligations of royalty and the pleasures of being young, Prince Robert Mueller wishes the court good luck and then retires.

Henry IV, Part 2

Prince Mueller reads about the Battle of Shrewsbury. He’s glad it all worked out.

Julius Caesar

As Rome’s leader becomes increasingly authoritarian, a soothsayer named Robert Mueller doesn’t feel like soothsaying.

Richard III

Mueller addresses the audience: “There’s no proof the princes were killed at Richard’s behest, other than the fact he admitted it to you.”