Obi-Wan dies;
Han and Chewbacca save Skywalker

A summary of the last forty-five minutes of Star Wars Episode IV, and a mnemonic for the starting lineup of the Houston Rockets’ 1995 NBA championship team (Olajuwon, Drexler, Horry, Cassell, and Smith).

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Ahhhhh! Aaoooww! Stop-it!!! Anyone?! A-little-help-here!?! AHHHHH! Ewww-there-goes-
my-leg!! Noooo!! AHHHHHHH!!

Cries for help during a bear mauling and a mnemonic for the seven continents in order of Olympic medal count from least to greatest (Antarctica, Australia, South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, North America).

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Dear Cheating Asshole,
We’re through.
Love (Hahaha! − kidding),
Beth Gardner

An e-mail from my ex-girlfriend notifying me that she knew about me and her roommate, and a mnemonic for all eight Secretaries General of the United Nations (de Cueller, Annan, Waldheim, Thant, Lie, Hammarskjöld, Ki-moon, Boutros-Ghali).

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“Good Riddance,” “Sabotage,” “Lump,”
“Poison,” “Alive,” and “Jump Around.”

Several popular songs from the 1990’s and a mnemonic for Brad Pitt’s romantic intrigues − in chronological order (Givens, (Robin); Schoelen; Lewis; Paltrow; Aniston; Jolie, (Angelina)).

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What about Jersey? Mafioso, murderers, addicts, juvenile vagrants, Bon Jovi. Here they praise these felonious people. Blighted little Jersey: guns, hookers, Goombas, Atlantic City. “Come home, criminal miscreants” reads the tourism website. And here come the hucksters, racketeers, trannies, and every korrupt-cop. Jersey, news flash: Criminals rarely benefit children, businesses, or organizations.

A short essay on the socio-political climate in New Jersey and a mnemonic for the last names of all 44 American presidents.

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Montreal, North Vancouver, Edmonton, Mississauga, Ottawa, Niagara Falls,
Iqaluit, and Calgary.

A selection of tour stops from the Barenaked Ladies’ memorable Canadian tour (summer ’97) and a mnemonic for the correct spelling of “mnemonic.”