The lady wishes the gentleman to return to his home or hotel room, and watch the Weather Channel until freezing temperatures are forecast for the region of Hell, at which time he should return to this lounge to find her remotely interested.

The lady wishes the gentleman to be advised that her substance dependencies have not yet reduced her to a state in which she might deem him sufficiently attractive to respond to his advances.

The lady wishes to inquire as to the health of the squirrel atop the gentleman’s head.

The lady would like the gentleman to know that all the money in the world cannot help him at this point.

The lady wishes the gentleman to know that she is only attracted to men who show absolutely no interest in her, by which criterion his inquiry has rendered him ineligible.

The lady wishes the gentleman to know that spaghetti-sauce stains are generally only endearing on nine-year-old boys.

The lady would like the gentleman to know that she finds the tan line on his ring finger neither sexy nor intriguing.

The lady would like to inform the gentleman that had she wished to talk to her father, she would this very evening have repaired to Mississauga, Ontario.

The lady wishes the gentleman to know that, while he doubtless has been a very naughty boy, perhaps his wife would be a more fitting enforcer of retribution.

The lady wishes the gentleman to know that he could not secure employment as a parking attendant at the establishments she is accustomed to patronizing.

The lady wishes the gentleman be informed that, while she acknowledges that his wife probably does not understand him, this might be due more to his slurred speech after imbibing seven martinis than with any emotional gulf between them.

The lady wishes to inform that gentleman that not only does a picture last longer, it doesn’t talk back, either.

The lady would like to know if the gentleman wishes to skip the preliminaries and begin ignoring one another right now.