Unedited Transcript of the First and Only Performance of Daily Reminder, a Completely Improvised One-Act Play That Occurred Between 12:30 and 12:31 p.m. CST, Tuesday, November 7, 2000, Performed Al Fresco on Randolph Street in Chicago Illinois.

By Ben Bass

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Dramatis Personae:

BEN, an earnest young improviser and faithful officer of the court.

HON. RICHARD M. DALEY, chief executive officer of the City of Chicago, brother to campaign chairman of Vice President Albert Gore Jr., and scion of machine political empire.


Time: 12:30 p.m., Election Day.

Place: Northeast corner of LaSalle and Randolph Streets, Chicago, Illinois, across street from HON. RICHARD M. DALEY’s 5th-floor City Hall office.

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[BEN, returning to work after lunch at Perry’s Deli, looks up from his New Yorker article on Harold Bloom and is startled to see HON. RICHARD M. DALEY waiting to cross Randolph Street.]

Did you vote?

[SUIT-WEARING FLACK glares sullenly at BEN.]

Yes, I did.

- Fin -

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U.S. Presidential News Coverage by Canal 4, Copenhagen, Denmark, As Translated by Thorkild Jespersen to American Tourist Jennifer Allen in the Kopikaffe, Vestergade 7, KBH.

By Sarah Schmelling

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TJ: You see, she (pointing to Annette Taarnvang, anchorperson) says there is yet no president of your country. The states are most counted but now there is problems in the Florida state. The Texas man, Bush, was announced to win yesterday and now there is stuffing of boxes and over big ballot papers that is confusing.

JA: But why is Jesse Jackson talking?

TJ: They say he is saying that police with flashing lights have stopped the black people from voting.

JA: What?

TJ: The black people could not stuff the boxes because the flashing lights were frightening and sounded hard. (Taarnvang returns on screen). Now she says the old are confused because the lines of Gore and of a third person were very very near. They put the holes for the third person and not for Gore, who should have been the second.

JA: Um.

TJ: Also, the boxes had gone disappeared are now counted over.

GEORGE BUSH (on screen): I have carried the state of Florida.

JA: Does that mean he won?

TJ: No, he is saying this because the counting was counted again. He says the underneath president called him to say his celebration, but then said no that he would like for more counting. (A map of the United States appears.)

JA (who is from Portland): Why is Oregon flashing?

TJ: There is no deciding there. They do not know the winners and cannot do the counting still. (Taarnvang returns.) Now they say your country is exploding.

JA: What?

THE BARTENDER, SOREN ANDERSON: It is exploding because it is waiting for the end of the deciding.

JA: Oh. Oh my god, why is Paul McCartney speaking now?

TJ: Oh, he is saying the album of the Spice Girls is much much better.