Have you ever dreamed of being a “writer”? Of course, you have! Doctors don’t make as much as they used to and we no longer go into space! What choice do you have? Besides, math was never really your thing. Well then, why not become a content creator for Galaxos Online Publishing?

What Sites Do We Run?

Good question, and the answer is simple! Galoxos owns all sites within the InterTrove collective, with the exception of those domains currently directed by InterProse Ltd. In the coming year, InterProse is set to merge with InterTrove and promptly dissolve, but hey, leave the boring money stuff to us! For your purposes, we own the Internet.

What Do We Pay?

That is a fair question for anyone starting a career in Internet Publishing. Did you like the way we used the word “career”? Of course, you did. Words are fun, and that’s why you want to be a writer! So you can have a “writing career.” Ask anyone and they’ll tell you, the key to building a successful career is exposure. And you just can’t buy exposure. Well, maybe you can, but we certainly don’t need to pay you for it.

We pay $15 per piece of content, whether it be a well-cited, thoroughly researched 5,000-word essay or ten captions under fair-use photos, so, y’know, more bang for your buck with the photos. Also no one reads essays, so win-win.

Lastly, things are looking up because as of next year, our rates will no longer be below industry standard as the InterProse/InterTrove merger will mean we are the industry.

Who Are We Looking For?

Do you have a crippling mental illness or substance abuse problem that would make you virtually unemployable in any conventional office setting? You might think that’s a detriment, and truth be told, it normally is, but in the world of Internet Publishing, you can work from the comfort of your own home or parent’s home. We appreciate that our employees aren’t your typical office drones. You’re colorful. You’re writers! Also we’re not worried because we widely disperse labor over so many of you, odds are slim you’ll all have breakdowns/relapses on the same day, right? Anyway, what some might call taking advantage of a vulnerable work force in the worst way, we see as valuing employees who possess a combination of disabling characteristics and limited options, thus making them fiercely loyal.

What Kind of Content Do We Want?

Hi, this is Steve Pearson, the new Director of Content for Galaxos, taking over for Caitlyn Thomas who started this posting several moments ago. Caitlyn is no longer with Galaxos and we wish her all the best over at InterProse. I mention this transfer only because, as writers, you might possess the keen eye to discern a difference in tone. Or maybe not, because everyone knows good writing always adheres to strict constructs and that’s why despite hiring thousands of content creators across the world all Galaxos content reads exactly the same. That’s the unique Galaxos voice you can proudly be a part of!

In a nutshell, we’re looking for whatever gets the most clicks from whatever our advertisers believe is the most profitable demographic at that moment, but again, that’s money stuff! You’re an artist. There, I said it. You’re an artist and I didn’t even put it in quotes. Why? Because punctuation does not affect our bottom line so why sweat it? But as the dictates of the demanding Internet Publishing market are constantly changing, no one can say if today’s Game of Thrones gallery will be as highly valued as tomorrow’s “You Won’t Believe What Celebrities Got Fat” think piece, so be sure to refresh this posting and the entire zeitgeist of the Internet often before submitting.

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Wayne Gladstone’s funny novel
Agents of the Internet Apocalypse
is available at all fine bookstores.