Whine: “These Ray-Bans are polarized, so I can’t see my iPad screen.”
Cheese: Murray’s Cheese Beaufort D’ete AOC

Whine: “These filters make me look like a palsy victim.”
Cheese: Long Clawson Dairy White Stilton Gold

Whine: “Well, in KLM business class, they give you a little ceramic house as a thank-you-souvenir.”
Cheese: Boar’s Head® Low Sodium Muenster

Whine: “What the hell am I supposed to do with this tiny ceramic house?”
Cheese: Friesland Campina Smoked Gouda

Whine: “Eew, Wheat Thins.”
Cheese: Avocado slices with Bragg® Nutritional Yeast Seasoning

Whine: “[French]: These Americans, they don’t understand that flip flops are not actual footwear.”
Cheese: Moulin de Carel Unpasteurized Brie de Meaux AOC

Whine: “Book club just isn’t as fun since Jeannie’s intervention.”
Cheese: 365 Everyday Value® Organic Monterrey Jack Cubes

Whine: “We will have all had another birthday by the time we get to the end of this line.”
Cheese: Trader Joe’s® Camembert and Cranberry Sauce Fillo Bites

Whine: “Doesn’t matter how well trained your dog is. If it eats a whole pack of cigarettes, you’re gonna need new carpet.”
Cheese: The Laughing Cow® Creamy Swiss French Onion Spreadable Cheese Wedges

Whine: “These iron supplements are really constipating.”
Cheese: Daiya® Deliciously Dairy Free™ Mozzarella-Style Shreds

Whine: “Tell Consuela to stop using fabric softener on my jeans. It makes my shins itch.”
Cheese: Mini Babybel® White Cheddar

Whine: “It’s monogrammed, so I can’t regift it.”
Cheese: Cabot® Creamery Part-Skim Mozzarella

Whine: “But MOM! Kaylinn gets to eat HER Go-Gurt in the pool!”
Cheese: Kroger® American Fat Free Singles Pasteurized Processed Cheese Product

Whine: “I just can’t get Garrett to commit to the composting toilet.”
Cheese: Cypress Grove Humboldt Fog

Whine: “There’s nothing on the Tee-Vee.”
Cheese: Kraft VELVEETA® Mini-Blocks (expired March 2015)