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Articles by
José Ferrer
José Ferrer is a writer, master-of-ceremonies and AKC-registered Siberian Husky.
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January 7, 2021We Must Take a Bipartisan Approach to Stopping This Armed, Violent Rebellion Us Republicans Have Perpetuated For Years
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August 27, 2020We Should Not Punish White Teens for Their Naïve Acts of Terrorism
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June 4, 2020We Must Use the Military to Protect America From Its Greatest Threat: America
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May 29, 2020We Need to Protect the True Victims of Civil Unrest: Big Box Chain Stores
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April 21, 2020As Your Governor, I Can Assure You the Coming Human Sacrifice Is Worth It
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December 2, 2019I’m the Host of a Prestigious TV News Show, and I Invite You to Come On-Air to Bullshit Me
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November 26, 2019I Am the President’s Pardoned Turkey. Please Kill Me
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November 12, 2019Liberals Must Stop Condemning My Moral Cowardice and General Ineptitude
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August 5, 2019Leave Us Alone
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June 5, 2019We Cannot Act On Climate Change Until We Confirm It’s a Person of Color, Gay, an Immigrant, or a Woman
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May 29, 2019Do Your Fucking Job
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March 11, 2019I Refuse to Apologize for My Old, Harmless Jokes About Rape Cults, the Underdeveloped Psyche of Women, and Sexual Assault
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches