ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
José Ferrer
José Ferrer is a writer, master-of-ceremonies and AKC-registered Siberian Husky.
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January 7, 2021We Must Take a Bipartisan Approach to Stopping This Armed, Violent Rebellion Us Republicans Have Perpetuated For Years
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August 27, 2020We Should Not Punish White Teens for Their Naïve Acts of Terrorism
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June 4, 2020We Must Use the Military to Protect America From Its Greatest Threat: America
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May 29, 2020We Need to Protect the True Victims of Civil Unrest: Big Box Chain Stores
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April 21, 2020As Your Governor, I Can Assure You the Coming Human Sacrifice Is Worth It
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December 2, 2019I’m the Host of a Prestigious TV News Show, and I Invite You to Come On-Air to Bullshit Me
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November 26, 2019I Am the President’s Pardoned Turkey. Please Kill Me
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November 12, 2019Liberals Must Stop Condemning My Moral Cowardice and General Ineptitude
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August 5, 2019Leave Us Alone
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June 5, 2019We Cannot Act On Climate Change Until We Confirm It’s a Person of Color, Gay, an Immigrant, or a Woman
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May 29, 2019Do Your Fucking Job
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March 11, 2019I Refuse to Apologize for My Old, Harmless Jokes About Rape Cults, the Underdeveloped Psyche of Women, and Sexual Assault
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September 22, 2022It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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September 6, 2023Plato’s Cave Regrets to Inform You It Will Be Raising Its Rent
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September 5, 2023Our Self-Driving Cars Will Save Countless Lives, But They Will Kill Some of You First
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September 21, 2023Take Us to Your Leader, the One They Call Jake from State Farm
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September 20, 2023New York Times’ Connections, Toddler Edition
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September 20, 2023Let’s Sell Your Basic House for More Than a Million Goddamn Dollars
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September 19, 2023Our Docuseries Horrible Person Sheds an Important Light on Our Streaming Service’s True Crime Offerings