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Articles by
Keith James
Keith is a writer from San Diego. He has written for Bleacher Report and Weekly Humorist. Keith will be releasing his second novel COMMUNITY POOL through Humorist Books this summer. You can find more of his work on Beef City Bounce House.
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June 21, 2024You Really Want to Start Skateboarding in Your Midthirties? Here Are Five Picks for Relaxing Outdoor Chairs Instead
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January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
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November 29, 2021Wake Up, You are Joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe and You Need to Start Taking Steroids Right Now
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November 9, 2021I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I, Too, Had a Brief Relationship with Pete Davidson
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August 25, 2021Details Regarding Timothy’s Moby-Dick-Themed Bar Mitzvah
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August 11, 2021I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My Second Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m on a Train Going to Hogwarts
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June 2, 2021Best STEM Toys For One-Year-Olds, Also, Calm Down
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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January 14, 2020I Am the L.L. Bean Catalog, and I Have Chosen Pete Buttigieg as My King
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October 7, 2019I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I Too Was Contacted By the Trump Administration to Investigate Hunter Biden
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September 18, 2019The Five Best US Cities for Concrete Dick Slabs
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July 31, 2019I Took the “Discover Your Patronus” Test On Pottermore and Got Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian