MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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I Don’t Have This Job
2015 Column Contest Winner
Neither Joslyn nor Justin Sklar has any of these jobs, but probably somebody does. Joslyn Sklar is a writer and spends most of her time watching television with her cat. Justin Sklar is a professional animator and spends most of his time animating professionally.
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October 7, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Writer
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September 14, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am an Animator
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August 19, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Duck Boat Driver
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August 4, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Bar Mitzvah Entertainer
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July 1, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Temple Guard on Legends of the Hidden Temple
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June 2, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Worm Farmer
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May 9, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Pumpkin Carving Instructor
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April 12, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Dog Hypnotist
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March 24, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am an Avant-Garde Bathroom Designer
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February 17, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Show Rabbit Breeder
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January 26, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am an Airport Psychic
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December 22, 2015I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Baby Hat Stylist
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June 3, 2025New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
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June 6, 2025I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
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June 2, 2025The Zen of Dying Quietly, and Other Teachings by Senator Joni Ernst
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May 19, 2025A Company Reminder for Everyone to Talk Nicely About the Giant Plagiarism Machine