1. Taking off your half-zip sweater.

2. Nodding vigorously as your teen explains cryptocurrency.

3. Reaching through a car window to retrieve your card from an ATM.

4. Sneezing.

5. Spending a day in non-elastic waist pants.

6. Bagging your groceries — especially when you’re purchasing the Benefiber 190-serving 2-pack.

7. Searching under furniture for your phone charger.

8. Sleeping.

9. Hauling the recycling to the curb when it’s filled with all the AARP literature you’re not ready to read.

10. Opening a jar.

11. Moving that jar back and forth as you squint to decipher its expiration date.

12. Thinking about your upcoming colonoscopy.

13. Passing a full gravy boat to your brother-in-law at Thanksgiving.

14. Tightening your carpal tunnel braces.

15. Reaching into the backseat of your car for an umbrella.

16. Pulling up your compression socks.

17. Tripping over the pet you call by your child’s name.

18. Tripping over shoes that belong to your child, whom you call by your pet’s name.

19. Looking for an app on your phone after adding or deleting one.

20. Rubbing your forehead, trying to remember why you entered a room.

21. Fastening the straps on your plantar fasciitis night splint.

22. Rushing to write down the name of a supplement an infomercial promised would make you feel 16 again (but may also destroy your kidneys, vision, and 92% of your relationships).

23. Wrestling your robot vacuum away from the fringes of your area rug.

24. Hearing yourself say things like, “It’s always worse in the morning.”

- - -

See also:
16 Surprising Ways to Injure Yourself
When You’re Over 40