McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
December 22, 2015
An Adjunct’s Christmas List
- A monthly planner to schedule faculty meetings, office hours, and service to the university
- Compensation for faculty meetings, office hours, and service to the university
- A refund on my advanced degree in English literature
- An advanced degree in anything but English literature
- A way to explain the plight of the adjunct in 300 words or less
- An alternative career path besides SAT Tutor or day-shift stripper
- A reason to set up a “Go Fund Me” account
- Recognition in the department newsletter for my recent publications
- A way to control spontaneous outbursts of crying that happen while grading every Tuesday night
- A Netflix subscription to watch reruns of Frasier on-demand
- My students to stop showing up on my Tinder
- Permission to use the Kona coffee K-Cups purchased only for full-time faculty and administrative staff
- A way to go back five minutes in time and prevent myself from realizing that my students have probably seen me on Tinder too
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
