1. Going out to dinner is completely out of the question.
2. Pants are optional.
3. What used to be a simple trip to the grocery store now ends in everyone having to bathe and change clothes immediately upon returning home.
4. You know exactly how many rolls of toilet paper you have.
5. The people who said it wouldn’t be a big deal were wrong.
6. You made the mistake of posting about it on Facebook and now you’ve had to block five people.
7. Your house smells like Clorox.
8. You never thought you’d say this, but it might be fun to go to Disney World when it’s all over.
9. You find yourself muttering, “I’m sick of this shit.”
10. At any given moment, someone is crying.
11. You know you’re not supposed to use junk food as a reward, but you’ve already gone through ten bags of M&M’s.
12. You’re doing okay during the day, but the nights are still hard.
13. You’ve become adept at turning on the faucet with your elbow.
14. The day isn’t complete until you’ve sung “The Wheels on the Bus” at least 246 times.
15. You spend a lot of time looking out the window remembering how it used to be no big deal to leave the house.
16. Even the experts have conflicting advice about the best path forward.
17. You have a sudden urge to call your mom and tell her how much you appreciate her.
18. It’s comforting to remember that a lot of people throughout history have endured something similar.
19. You promise yourself no more Google searches that include the phrase “worst-case scenario.”
20. The highlight of your week is finding an unopened bag of wipes in the back of a drawer.
21. The person who makes or breaks this whole thing is impulsive, irrational, attention-seeking, self-absorbed, prone to temper tantrums, and needs endless praise for the smallest of accomplishments. It’s not looking good.
Living Through a Pandemic: 1-21
Potty Training a Toddler: 1-21