1. Doubting that the nightmare is really, truly over.
2. Praying that whatever vestiges of civility are left will last until the January 20 deadline.
3. Waking up in a cold sweat and shouting into your Twitter feed, “Is it over yet?!”
4. Putting your future in the hands of a 78-year-old white guy.
5. Putting your future in the hands of a 78-year-old white guy allegedly prone to inappropriate touching.
6. Remembering that you have put the last four years of your life in the hands of a 76-year-old white guy definitely prone to inappropriate touching.
7. Wondering if Title IX can help you — or anyone, for that matter — when the current and future leaders of the Free World are septuagenarian men allegedly prone to inappropriate touching.
8. Knowing that you’ll never retain the meanings or proper spellings of Latin abbreviations like viz. and sic. and cf. by the time this is done, but that you’ll always, always know how to write covfefe.
9. wondering WHAT Proper CAPITALIZATION looks LIKE in A World without mla, APA, ap, chicago OR unRESTRICTED tweets from the WHITE HOUSE.
10. Hoping someone will one day be found guilty of abuse of power.
11. Wondering if your far-right relatives and cousin on 4chan should be blamed in your Acknowledgments or thanked for keeping things to just one term.
12. Understanding that objectivity never existed but knowing that if it did, it’s definitely dead.
13. Applauding yourself for managing to keep your spirits up while working in a neoliberal institution under an authoritarian regime with no job prospects.
14. Wondering why everyone around you is celebrating.
15. Agonizing over how the hell you’ll ever be able to write a Conclusion.
16. Wondering whether you’re in a deep state of depression or surrounded by people who believe in the deep state, and either way it’s going to take a lot of anti-anxiety meds to bring life back to normal.
17. Regretting all that time you wasted learning about Alexander Hamilton rather than something useful like the sociological underpinnings of an insurrection.
18. Worrying what you’ll complain about once it’s all over.
Grad School: 1-18
Trump’s Last Days: 1-18