Goddamnit. Are you seriously still not in bed? All I ask is just to have this little window of time in my evenings to lay on the couch and idly scroll through whatever catches my interest, which tonight happens to be Badfinger’s Wikipedia page.

Oh, you’ve never heard of Badfinger? That’s probably because you’re too busy getting out of the bed I’ve tucked you into five times to know that they were the first band signed by the Beatles label and one of the originators of Power Pop.

Did you know that Badfinger released their first album as The Iveys, and Tony Visconti produced several of the tracks? Well, I don’t know it either, because you keep interrupting me every goddamn time I get to that part of the page.

I’m not going to pretend what I’m doing is the most important thing in the world. I should probably be reading something from that stack of books over there I’ve never even touched. But the fact is, after an entire day of dealing with you and your brother’s bullshit, my intellectual capacity pretty much tops out at Badfinger’s Wikipedia page.

If I’m being perfectly honest with you, my plan when I collapsed onto this couch was to watch three or four episodes of Tiny House Hunters, but the remote is all the way over there on the bookshelf, and so here we are.

Yes, I understand you came all the way downstairs to tell me your brother is awake too. Did you know Badfinger came all the way from Wales to make their mark on the London rock scene of the late 1960s? I’m not trying to compare you or say your problems aren’t valid, but only one of you went on to write “Day After Day.”

Oh, you can’t find your blanky? Well, I guess that is a tragedy. Of course, it’s nothing like the tragedy that befell Badfinger, what with the suicides of both Pete Ham and Tom Evans. So, you know, maybe think about that toxic stew of fame and then anonymity, mixed with mental illness and substance abuse, before you go all nuclear about this blanky situation.

Fine. I will come upstairs one more time, and I will read you one more book. But when I am done, so help me God, if you come out of that room before I read this section on latter-day reunions and reissues, I am going to lose my shit.