1. You should select a course taught by a seasoned instructor with numerous teaching awards and accolades who wears a purple shirt you can feel confident writing, “Cool purple shirt,” about when asked whether the instructor helped you learn to think more critically.
2. Be sure to choose at least one course with a moderate amount of groupwork so you can stress how there was too much groupwork when asked whether the lectures were presented in an organized fashion, while emphasizing how there should be more groupwork when asked whether the class combined theory and practical applications.
3. You’ll want to find an instructor with a Ph.D. and several acclaimed books on the History of the Bildungsroman, so you can point out how they clearly don’t know anything about the Bildungsroman when you’re asked if the grading process was fair.
4. If you didn’t like your instructor last semester, sign up for another course with the same person so you can repeat your previous feedback about how they shouldn’t be allowed to teach at this school (but in all caps this time) when asked whether the course prepared you for future coursework in the subject.
5. If possible, sit in on a class before enrolling to make sure the instructor’s accent annoys you enough to recommend they learn how to speak English when asked if the instructor provided adequate feedback on your work. (Pro-tip: Don’t worry that it’s an English course.)
6. You’ll also want to sit in on any class taught by a female professor before enrolling to ensure you find her voice sufficiently annoying and her face sufficiently unpleasant to comment that she’s hard on the eyes and the ears when asked whether the professor was available outside of class.
7. For electives, try to choose courses you can’t believe they even teach at this school so you can ask why they even teach this course at this school in the section about whether the instructor encouraged students to ask questions.
8. If you hate writing long research papers, select a course where writing long research papers counts for exactly 95% of your grade, so you can use your favorite expletive in the section for additional comments.
9. If you’re looking for a gut, find a course the syllabus says in multiple places is “designed to challenge students,” so you can upload an inappropriate GIF of your choosing when asked whether you would recommend the course to other students.
10. Pro-tip: Actually, don’t ever read the syllabus when choosing a course.