People say that if we get rid of guns, mass shootings will decrease. But guns aren’t the problem. People are the problem. As a society, we must come together to do away with us.

People are fallible, temperamental, and prone to fluctuating states like depression and anger. Frankly, not a species befitting deadly weapons designed for immediate and irreversible destruction.

Don’t get me wrong — the deadly weapons themselves are totally great. Just benign, helpful tools without any fault or cause for concern. But, throw people into the mix, and it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire. And when you have a gasoline fire, do you confiscate the fire? No. You let it burn up all the gasoline till it’s gone so the fire can rage on forever.

If you lay a semiautomatic handgun on a kitchen table, it would just sit there, not hurting anyone, making the room instantaneously safer. But, say a toddler walks into the kitchen (maybe the toddler has had a bad day or someone gave him too much juice), and goes on a shooting rampage. See how the toddler is the problem in this scenario? Toddlers should not be allowed in kitchens. Where is that legislation?

As a species, we’re just pointless middlemen for the awesomeness of guns. We’ve been getting in the way of bullets for a while now, and it’s time for us to get out of the way. Permanently. Because what was this country built for, if not as a space for our guns to flourish in the freedom they provide?

My colleagues have suggested throttling violent video games, but that still leaves us with the two main components of the issue: guns, which we’ve already established are not the problem, and people. We can add more or less of any factor — medication, prayer — but at the end of the day, we’re still left with the fire (fallible, accident-prone people) and the gasoline (guns, cool and good). One of the two has to go. And as a nation, I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve collectively decided it’s not going to be the guns.

Our forefathers clearly intended for America to be densely populated by guns — military-grade, technologically advanced guns — so abundant, you’d think they’d figured out how to breed. With every single shot fired (and it’s many every second), you can just feel the freedom ripping through your chest while you shop for lawn chairs in a store or chat with friends at a bar.

I, for one, rejoice in being shot. There’s nothing more American than a civilian taking one for freedom. But if a few flesh wounds prevent you from enjoying true patriotism, you can always defect to one of those restrictive countries that puts the safety and lives of its people first.