The Believer Magazine
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December 1, 2004Mildly Upsetting Fortune-Cookie Messages
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November 18, 200456 Uncommon Baby Names for Boys, Culled From the Index of Volume 3 of Master of the Senate, Robert Caro’s Biography of Lyndon Johnson
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November 18, 2004I Lack the Physical Ability to Be in the NFL but I More Than Make Up for It With My Innovation in the Area of Touchdown Celebrations
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November 18, 2004Words to Know When Listening to German Industrial Music
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November 17, 2004Signs Your Doctor May Be Coming On to You
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November 12, 2004Why the Lone Ranger Gave Up His Cell Phone
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November 12, 2004Why Hollywood Hates the Metric System
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November 10, 2004Other Things Donna Summer Might Have Been Seeking When Singing “Hot Stuff.”
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November 10, 2004Cruel Nicknames for Overweight Vampires
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November 10, 2004Rappers I Thought Were Asian
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November 5, 2004Action Verbs to Use Sparingly on Résumés
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November 5, 2004Sentences Containing Surfing Terms That May Be Uttered After Drinking Coffee on an Empty Stomach
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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May 2, 2025Templates for Thanking President Trump
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May 2, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Delroy Lindo
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May 2, 2025I Just Turned Forty, and Steely Dan’s Entire Discography Mysteriously Appeared on My Phone
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May 1, 2025We Oppose Income Caps on the Ultra-Wealthy, but We’re Totally in Favor of Limiting the Number of Dolls per Household