Lists

Of Presidents and Devils

My Unabridged Vocabulary at Thirteen Months, Which, Unhappily, Foreshadows the Next 302

Injudicious Uses of Exclamation Points in the Teacher’s Video Company Catalog

Selected Side Effects of My Recently-Prescribed Medication

Actual Evaluations I Received from Students in My Analytical Chemistry Class

Things People Said to Me While I Worked the Front Desk in Lieu of “Would you throw this away for me?”

What Was Asked of Jeeves, on March 5, 2002

Students’ Responses to a Quiz on McDonald’s, Presented as Evidence That I Might Not Be Cutting It As an American Culture Teacher at a College in Ningbo, China

Murder Techniques Offered by the Killer-for-Hire in AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap.”

Actual Band Names That Double As Excuses for Showing up Late to Work

Song Titles by Judas Priest, Modified to Reflect an Alternate Reality in Which the Band is Obsessed with Members of President Jimmy Carter’s Cabinet and the 1985 American League Eastern Division Champion Toronto Blue Jays

Actual Comments Made about Ozzy Osbourne on the Official Message Board for The Osbournes TV Program