McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Send your nonfictional open letters to openletters@mcsweeneys.net.
(Submission guidelines)
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September 21, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to Jif Peanut Butter
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September 14, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Look That Slowly Forms On Your Face When I Tell You I Am a Librarian
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September 7, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the People in Charge of Commercials Targeting Women
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August 24, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Mix Tape Made for Me By My College Boyfriend, Now Deceased
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July 20, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the City and County Inspector Who Fined Me $500 Even Though the Weeds in My Front Lawn Were Well Under the 6” Regulation Height
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July 13, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to Natalie Portman’s Character in Mars Attacks!
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June 29, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to People Who Take Pictures of Food With Instagram
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June 22, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to My Fitness Counselor Regarding My Lack of Response to Her Recent Inquiries
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June 15, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the State of Pennsylvania
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June 8, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Kid Scooping Raisins Out of the Bulk Bin and Dumping Them On the Floor
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June 1, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to the Mammogram Machine at Beth Israel Hospital
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May 25, 2012Open Letter: An Open Letter to Myself the Day After the 2004 Presidential Election
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January 30, 2019Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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February 13, 2019Don’t Get Married Before You Live Together
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September 19, 2017If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
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February 8, 2019List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious
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February 19, 2019List: My Minimalist Lifehacks
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February 19, 2019Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money,” Expanded for Freelancers
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February 18, 2019Listen Up, Other Holidays, It’s Me, Presidents’ Day
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February 15, 2019How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe