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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Send your nonfictional open letters to openletters@mcsweeneys.net.
(Submission guidelines)
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December 5, 2014An Open Letter to the Blonde Woman in the Stock Photo of Millennials Drinking Wine
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November 21, 2014An Open Letter to My Beloved Woolly Armpits
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November 6, 2014An Open Letter to the Adorable Young Couple Leisurely Strolling By As I Frantically Usher My Children into My Rav4
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October 24, 2014An Open Letter to People Who Sell Sofas On Craigslist
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October 10, 2014An Open Letter to Anyone Tempted to Borrow a Handicap Placard
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October 3, 2014An Open Letter to Vogue Magazine About Big Booties
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September 26, 2014An Open Letter to a Traveling Salesman, Sugar Camp, Wisconsin, Circa 1996
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August 29, 2014An Open Letter to My Late Paternal Grandfather
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August 22, 2014An Open Letter to the Passing Motorist Who Suggested I Take a Photograph of His Dick
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July 31, 2014An Open Letter to Busta Rhymes
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July 25, 2014An Open Letter to the People Who Decide Which Women’s Apparel Catalogs to Send Me
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July 18, 2014An Open Letter to Myself When I Had Seven Cats
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November 23, 2021Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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November 20, 2019I Am a Trader Joe’s Parking Lot and I Am Here to Destroy You
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November 30, 2021Put Away That Whip — I’m Not That Kind of Dungeon Master