ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Send your nonfictional open letters to openletters@mcsweeneys.net.
(Submission guidelines)
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June 26, 2015An Open Letter to Nicole Kidman, Mariah Carey and Julia Roberts’s Circa 1990s Curly Hair
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June 19, 2015An Open Letter to the Bewildering Number of Ways to Spell “Brittany.”
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May 7, 2015An Open Letter to Everyone in the Event of My Likely Demise While Hiking the Appalachian Trail
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April 24, 2015An Open Letter to the Former Owner of My Queen-Size Bed
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April 2, 2015An Open Letter to the Guy Who Discovered the 10,000 Hour Rule
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March 27, 2015An Open Letter to the Braxton-Hicks Contractions That Hit a Student in My First Period 10th Grade English Class
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March 20, 2015An Open Letter to the Sociology Professor at My University Who Wrote a Letter to the Editor Saying “I Don’t Think That a Single Woman Has Been Assaulted On This Campus in My 33 Years Here.”
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March 13, 2015An Open Letter to People Who Fawn Over My Wheelchair
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February 27, 2015An Open Letter to Women Who Shame Catcalling
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January 23, 2015An Open Letter to People I Hardly Know But Who Hug Me Anyway
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January 16, 2015An Open Letter to Semicolon Abusers
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January 8, 2015An Open Letter to the Sneakers Hanging Over a Power Line on East Lake Sammamish Parkway
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September 28, 2023A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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October 4, 2023Lady, I Don’t Care How Good the Food Is, You Cannot Have an Orgasm in This Restaurant
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October 3, 2023Due to Falling Enrollments, We Will No Longer Offer Courses in Romulan at Starfleet Academy
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October 3, 2023I Am a Dainty Little Rings Person Now
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October 2, 2023Thank You for Submitting Your Homeless Shelter Application, but We’ve Decided to Use City Funds for Thirty-Five New Pickleball Courts Instead