The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 5, 2014Peter Pan’s Middle School Assembly D.A.R.E. Speech
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October 29, 2014The Reality You Must Accept Upon Setting Foot in My Chipotle
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October 17, 2014Hester Prynne Hosts a Nail Art Party
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October 10, 2014The Stand-In Cannon Player for Last Week’s Performance of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” Apologizes
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October 1, 2014I Am Gary, Your Bed, Bath and Beyond Sherpa
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September 26, 2014The Split Infinitive Begs for Mercy
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September 22, 2014Glengarry, Bob Ross
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September 16, 2014Alexander Graham Bell Has Had Just About Enough of Your Shit
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September 12, 2014Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away
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September 9, 2014Yeah, Well the Weather Doesn’t Want to Talk About You Either
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September 5, 2014Tennessee Titans’ Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt’s Spirit Animal is a Football
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August 20, 2014A Few Words from Roscoe’s Italian Eatery and Café’s Human Billboard and Doomsayer
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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