The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 24, 2015Jesus Christ Tells His Parents He Wants to Pursue a Career in Comedy
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February 17, 2015T.S. Eliot Sees Cats for the First Time
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February 4, 2015A Quick Update from Your Late Irregular Period
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January 30, 2015I’m the Cool Wife In a Snack Dip Commercial
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January 27, 2015I am the Fucking Managing Editor of the Weather.com Homepage
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January 20, 2015This Conversation is a Series of Gratuitous References to Validate My Intelligence to You
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January 5, 2015The Creator of Truck Nutz On What Inspired His Invention
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December 22, 2014Noted Social Psychologist George Herbert Mead Analyzes Ugly Sweater Parties
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December 18, 2014Serial’s Sarah Koenig On Santa’s Alleged Hit-and-Run Murder of Grandma
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December 15, 2014Lance Kilmartin, the Yankee Candle Company’s Lead Scent Architect, is Going Through a Rough Patch at Work
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December 11, 2014I Am a Police Officer Whose Use of Lethal Force is Perfectly Consistent
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December 10, 2014A Stay-at-Home Dad’s Promise to His Son
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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May 2, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Delroy Lindo
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May 1, 2025We Oppose Income Caps on the Ultra-Wealthy, but We’re Totally in Favor of Limiting the Number of Dolls per Household