The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 20, 2013A Hypnotized Person Tries to Have Sex With a Chair
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May 7, 2013A Few Words From a Genetically Modified Eggplant
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April 15, 2013Terrence Malick at the Delicatessen
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April 2, 2013A Government Wasteocrat Comes Clean
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February 26, 2013White House Press Secretary Has a Few Words About the Secret Kill List
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February 12, 2013Grandson, I Lied When I Said I Hurt My Knee in the War; It Happened During an Improv Scene
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February 8, 2013A Farewell Speech From the Monopoly Iron
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February 7, 2013The Half-Priced Hypnotist
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January 29, 2013Pat Sajak Tries to Talk Himself Into Going to Work Again
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January 22, 2013Chuck Hammersmith: Rock ’n Roll Copy Editor
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December 17, 2012We Are the Feet of the People Whose Holiday Card You Received Last Week
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December 3, 2012I’m Delighted to Be an Extra in a Rap Video
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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