McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 15, 2012A Tour Guide Attempts to Salvage His Lecture On a Series of Recently Vandalized Cave Paintings
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November 2, 2012A GOP Strategist Suggests New Talking Points
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October 24, 2012Hark! I Am Obama—Slayer of Jobs!
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October 15, 2012Allow Me to Evade That Specific Policy Question With Sweeping Generalizations About America
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September 25, 2012Please Don’t Raise My Benevolent Billionaire Employer’s Taxes
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September 18, 2012Your Former High School Health Teacher Sets You Straight About Menopause
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September 12, 2012A Teenager Tries to Make the Best of Hosting Her Middle-Ages Themed Party at the Same Time as Her Older Brother’s Lacrosse Team’s Kegger
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September 4, 2012I Am Selling Candy for My Basketball Team or My Conceptual Art Project
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August 27, 2012Paul Ryan Details His Plan for Post-Bowling Drinks
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August 6, 2012An Overeager New Dad Celebrates the Birth of His Son
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July 31, 2012My Semester Abroad Gives Me Ownership of this Cultural Event
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July 23, 2012The Man Who Tripped and Fell in His Living Room One Afternoon and Died
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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