The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
June 11, 2007Emergency Broadcast System
-
June 7, 2007Bo Jackson Announces His Intention to Rush for Over 500 Yards in a Single Game in Tecmo Bowl
-
May 19, 2007Thoughts for Incoming Freshman
-
May 15, 2007Your Driver Hopes You’re Sharing His Epiphany
-
April 12, 2007William Smith: The College-Application Essay
-
March 5, 2007A Drunken, Obnoxious, Imaginative, Unnecessary Best-Man Speech for a Friend’s Marriage of Convenience at the Municipal Building
-
February 28, 2007An Excerpt From the Lindale High School Graduation Valedictorian Speech by Samuel Clark, Who Ate the Brains of His Fellow Students to Increase His Intelligence
-
February 14, 2007Tom Skerritt’s Speech to the Cadets in Top Gun Is Probably Long Enough as It Is
-
February 5, 2007Today’s AA Speaker: Mr. Tom Waits (If Mr. Waits Is Actually Like the People He Writes Songs About)
-
January 27, 2007My Brain’s Answers During an Interview After Hearing the News That I Am About to Take Mushrooms for the First Time
-
January 18, 2007Matthew McConaughey Explains to His Friend Rich That He Forgot His Dr. Pepper
-
January 9, 2007Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to a High School
Trending 🔥
-
April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
-
April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
-
April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
-
April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
Recently
-
May 2, 2025Templates for Thanking President Trump
-
May 2, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Delroy Lindo
-
May 2, 2025I Just Turned Forty, and Steely Dan’s Entire Discography Mysteriously Appeared on My Phone
-
May 1, 2025We Oppose Income Caps on the Ultra-Wealthy, but We’re Totally in Favor of Limiting the Number of Dolls per Household