“Could have used more foreshadowing.”
“Antagonist too cartoonish. Orange skin, really?”
“I found the satire of modern American representative democracy and of the state of race relations in a polarized nation to be a bit too on-the-nose.”
“The chorus of sad millennials at the end dragged the denouement.”
“Trump character had a distinctive if unintelligible voice. I appreciate the critique evident in the speech style’s cognitive dissonance, but eventually it became an unfruitful parody. The dialogue was not realistic whatsoever.”
“Who says ‘grab’ them by the pussy?”
“Of the supporting cast, the Bernie character was unexpected and adorable, but ultimately underwhelming. Pence character quite frightening — I’m anxious to see what you do with him. Melania character intriguing but flat. Republican Party underutilized.”
“Hillary character somewhat robotic and unlikeable. Unsure if deserved the backlash she received. A tragic if unsatisfying arc.”
“I found the piece memorable, and it succeeded in evoking a strong emotional response. However it strained my suspension of disbelief throughout. Even for a fabulist/surrealist work, the plot lacked coherence.”
“Draft could use more of a sense of resolution.”
“The story is not as funny or witty as it thinks it is.”
“The attempt at irony overall could be more subtle. For instance, maybe the misogynist running against the first female nominee of a major political party shouldn’t also be a former beauty pageant owner.”
“I will say of the piece that the stakes were clear and high.”
“I can’t wait to see where the story goes.”
“Not to be prescriptive, but I think the hair should be sentient in a Professor Quirrell/Lord Voldemort sort of way.”