Should women serve in the military?
Have we time traveled?

Should men get paid when their wives force them to babysit their kids?
What now?

Have you heard of vaping?
Yes, I have. Or are you just writing in the second-person again?

Should gay marriage be legal?
Aren’t we done with this one?

Will my team win (x) Bowl?
Do you think the library databases are Magic 8 balls?

Should illegals be allowed to go to school?
Did you just call some of your classmates, “illegals”?

Is the New York Times fake news?
No. The answer is, “no.”

Why are English teachers the sexiest people alive?
Webster’s defines this question as “creepy.”

Why is abortion legal?
Can I just tell you the answer?

Why aren’t I writing an essay, you ask?
You aren’t as clever as your mother said you were.

Why is the dictionary the best primary source?
[Sigh] Just write an essay that reaches the word count minimum.