FLASH SALE

* * *

$5 off Children and the Tundra, the latest nonsense from the Haggis-on-Wheys, today only.

hide announcement

Lists

- - - -

Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.

- - - -
- - - -
Quotes From My TED Talk
by Wendy Molyneux (12/8/2011)

Band Math
by Jonathan San (12/6/2011)

Super Short CliffsNotes for All Classic Novels
by Arielle Zibrak (12/1/2011)

Passive-Aggressive Films
by Kevin Deutsch (11/29/2011)

Crate and Barrel Furniture or Character from The Wire?
by Sarah Garb (11/17/2011)

Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation
by Eric K. Auld (11/8/2011)

Honest Chat Room Acronyms
by Bryan Cook (11/3/2011)

Bear Market
by Brendan Fitzgibbons (10/27/2011)

My Ballet Teacher’s Increasingly Threatening Metaphors for Lifting the Pelvic Floor
by Amy Schleunes (10/21/2011)

My Love for You
by John de Guzman (10/13/2011)

A History of Pizza Hut’s New Product Releases, 2002-2042
by Simon Rich (10/11/2011)

Beyond the 4th Wall
by Dan Markowitz (9/29/2011)

Proposed Additions to the Internet Lexicon
by Brandon Scott Gorrell (9/20/2011)

Thereof On Steroids
by Jessica Goldkind and Rebecca Azhdam (9/13/2011)

What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You, Part 2
by John Peck (9/8/2011)

TV Pitches From a Guy Whose Girlfriend Broke Up With Him Forty-Five Minutes Before the Pitch Meeting
by Ravi Mangla (9/1/2011)

The Candy Encyclopedia of American Literature
by Katie Pappageorge (8/30/2011)

For Those Starting Philosophy on Monday
by Jack Graham (8/25/2011)

2011 NBA Rookie Projections (Lockout-Adjusted)
by Chris Grace (8/18/2011)

Your Hollywood Internship Welcome Packet
by Joe Cristalli and Rob Turbovsky (8/11/2011)

Ineffective Pick-Up Lines for the Modern Internet Persona
by Stephanie Georgopulos (8/9/2011)

Things the Doctor Really Said When Called About the Monkeys Jumping On the Bed
by Vince Eckert (8/3/2011)

Dante Alighieri’s Google+ Circles
by Cara Pacifico and Meron Langsner (8/1/2011)

What to Say When Friends are Discussing Video Games That You Have Not Played
by Chris Grace (7/26/2011)

Reasons My Puppet Show Pilot Wasn’t Picked Up for Television
by Doogie Horner (7/21/2011)

More Realistic Makeup Slogans
by Liz Arcury (7/19/2011)

Advanced Yoga Positions for African-American Beginners
by James Hannaham (7/14/2011)

Other Adages for Sailors
by Sloan Schang (7/12/2011)

Great Quotes From the End of NASA’s Space Shuttle Era
by Jim Santel (7/7/2011)

What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)

Elements of Surprise
by Matt Powers (6/30/2011)

YouTube Videos With Minimal Views
by Jordan Seagull (6/28/2011)

Additional Improvements to the Coors Light “Cold Activated” Beer Can
by Marco Kaye and Sloan Schang (6/23/2011)

Conversational Italian for the Cast of Jersey Shore
by Mary Green (6/21/2011)

Famous Opening Lines from Novels Updated for the Modern Age
by Sean Ryan (6/15/2011)

Yiddish Words for the 21st Century
by Tim Harrod (6/9/2011)

Upcoming Urban Outfitters’ Books
by Megan Amram (6/9/2011)

Initial Pop Offerings
by Sloan Schang (6/9/2011)

Lesser Nobility
by Matthew Charles Donald (5/12/2011)

Roles I Imagine I am Auditioning for When I Shop at Whole Foods
by Sloan Schang (5/12/2011)

Compliments Given to Me After a Comedy Show Where I Bombed For 45 Minutes Straight
by Doogie Horner (5/12/2011)

Positions Found in The Kama Sutra for Midwesterners
by Pete Reynolds (4/29/2011)

April Fools’ Day Pranks to Play On a 20-Something Male Who Still Lives at Home With His Parents
by Walter Carson (3/31/2011)

If the Beach Boys Had Lived in Great Britain
by Caspar Salmon (3/31/2011)

Less Popular Olan Mills Portrait Studio Backgrounds
by Sloan Schang (3/31/2011)

Gaius Julius CaesarStone™ Introduces the Roman Patriot Collection: New Countertop Colors for Spring 49 BC
by Kate Hahn (3/17/2011)

Tips for Your Mommy Blog
by Katherine Gehan (3/17/2011)

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You, Part Two
by John Peck (3/17/2011)

Your Place in the Social Security Number-Based Caste System of the Future
by D.J. Buckmaster (3/10/2011)

Rubber Stamps I Wish I Had for Grading Freshman Composition Papers
by Katherine Perry (3/10/2011)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.