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The Candy Encyclopedia of American Literature
by Katie Pappageorge (8/30/2011)

For Those Starting Philosophy on Monday
by Jack Graham (8/25/2011)

2011 NBA Rookie Projections (Lockout-Adjusted)
by Chris Grace (8/18/2011)

Your Hollywood Internship Welcome Packet
by Joe Cristalli and Rob Turbovsky (8/11/2011)

Ineffective Pick-Up Lines for the Modern Internet Persona
by Stephanie Georgopulos (8/9/2011)

Things the Doctor Really Said When Called About the Monkeys Jumping On the Bed
by Vince Eckert (8/3/2011)

Dante Alighieri’s Google+ Circles
by Cara Pacifico and Meron Langsner (8/1/2011)

What to Say When Friends are Discussing Video Games That You Have Not Played
by Chris Grace (7/26/2011)

Reasons My Puppet Show Pilot Wasn’t Picked Up for Television
by Doogie Horner (7/21/2011)

More Realistic Makeup Slogans
by Liz Arcury (7/19/2011)

Advanced Yoga Positions for African-American Beginners
by James Hannaham (7/14/2011)

Other Adages for Sailors
by Sloan Schang (7/12/2011)

Great Quotes From the End of NASA’s Space Shuttle Era
by Jim Santel (7/7/2011)

What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
by John Peck (7/5/2011)

Elements of Surprise
by Matt Powers (6/30/2011)

YouTube Videos With Minimal Views
by Jordan Seagull (6/28/2011)

Additional Improvements to the Coors Light “Cold Activated” Beer Can
by Marco Kaye and Sloan Schang (6/23/2011)

Conversational Italian for the Cast of Jersey Shore
by Mary Green (6/21/2011)

Famous Opening Lines from Novels Updated for the Modern Age
by Sean Ryan (6/15/2011)

Yiddish Words for the 21st Century
by Tim Harrod (6/9/2011)

Upcoming Urban Outfitters’ Books
by Megan Amram (6/9/2011)

Initial Pop Offerings
by Sloan Schang (6/9/2011)

Lesser Nobility
by Matthew Charles Donald (5/12/2011)

Roles I Imagine I am Auditioning for When I Shop at Whole Foods
by Sloan Schang (5/12/2011)

Compliments Given to Me After a Comedy Show Where I Bombed For 45 Minutes Straight
by Doogie Horner (5/12/2011)

Positions Found in The Kama Sutra for Midwesterners
by Pete Reynolds (4/29/2011)

April Fools’ Day Pranks to Play On a 20-Something Male Who Still Lives at Home With His Parents
by Walter Carson (3/31/2011)

If the Beach Boys Had Lived in Great Britain
by Caspar Salmon (3/31/2011)

Less Popular Olan Mills Portrait Studio Backgrounds
by Sloan Schang (3/31/2011)

Gaius Julius CaesarStone™ Introduces the Roman Patriot Collection: New Countertop Colors for Spring 49 BC
by Kate Hahn (3/17/2011)

Tips for Your Mommy Blog
by Katherine Gehan (3/17/2011)

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You, Part Two
by John Peck (3/17/2011)

Your Place in the Social Security Number-Based Caste System of the Future
by D.J. Buckmaster (3/10/2011)

Rubber Stamps I Wish I Had for Grading Freshman Composition Papers
by Katherine Perry (3/10/2011)

A Series of Haiku from a Shift at Starbucks
by Thierry Comte (3/10/2011)

Intramural Basketball Names for English Majors
by Alex Watt (3/3/2011)

I’ve Been Told My LOLCat Captions Are Too Wordy
by Laura Pearlman (3/3/2011)

Major Points in a Handwriting Analysis of Bigfoot’s Signature
by Ben Greenman (3/3/2011)

Kenny Logg-ins
by Tim Wassler (2/24/2011)

Taglines for The Social Network Knock-Offs
by Jackson Grant (2/24/2011)

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You
by John Peck (2/24/2011)

Reasons Not to Think Outside the Box
by Michael Rodman (2/17/2011)

Important Instructions for the Babysitters of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Children
by Coleman Larkin (2/17/2011)

Growing Up, Our Neighbor Never Called Her Grandmother “Grandma.”
by Dan Kennedy (2/17/2011)

Ingredients in Tostitos Hint of Lime Chips
by Sarah Garb (2/3/2011)

Place I’ve Cried or Place Ludacris Claims He Had Sex in His Song “What’s Your Fantasy”?
by Anna Breslaw (2/3/2011)

Groupon Deals for My Friends
by Cara Gillotti (1/27/2011)

State of the Union
by Ben Greenman (1/25/2011)

Your Newborn’s Cries Decoded: A Guide for Manhattanites
by Jay Welch (1/20/2011)

Literary Symbols I Fear I Overuse
by Karl Pichotta (1/20/2011)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.