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Lists
Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.
(Submission guidelines)
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July 14, 2015Advanced Drinking Aphorisms
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July 13, 2015More Honest Tanning Bed Dial Settings
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July 9, 2015Netflix Synopses for the Unaired Reboot of Murder, She Wrote.
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July 7, 2015New Affirmations
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July 2, 2015How We Celebrate the Fourth of July
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June 30, 201521 Days to a Dadbod
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June 24, 201517 Easy Ways to Get a Better Butt
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June 23, 2015Dear God! What Have You Done to That Swiss Chard?!
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June 22, 2015Five Works of Feminist Literature That Make Great Diet Food
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June 18, 2015Easy Ways for Asian-Americans to Fit In
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June 17, 2015Things a Man Must NEVER Do Before the Age of 30!
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June 16, 2015How We’re Starting the Marriage Chapter of Our Memoirs
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 18, 2025The Elementary School Disciplinary Record of Jesus Christ
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May 2, 2025Templates for Thanking President Trump
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May 2, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Delroy Lindo
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May 2, 2025I Just Turned Forty, and Steely Dan’s Entire Discography Mysteriously Appeared on My Phone
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May 1, 2025We Oppose Income Caps on the Ultra-Wealthy, but We’re Totally in Favor of Limiting the Number of Dolls per Household