McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
December 1, 2016A Shonda Rhimes Monologue for the Millennial Woman
-
November 30, 2016My Very Real, Totally Not Imaginary Canadian Girlfriend Responds to Those Who Doubt Her Existence
-
November 22, 2016As I Prepare for the TSA to Ravage My Afro for Weapons
-
October 27, 2016Rick Bayless’s Wife Weighs In On Tonight’s Dinner Plans
-
October 26, 2016Hello, I’m a Social Justice Warrior, and I’m Here to Take Your Guns
-
October 24, 2016I’m a Person-Shaped Colony of the Measles Virus, and I Want Your Vote!
-
October 21, 2016Why Won’t You Kids Go to Sleep and Let Me Read Badfinger’s Wikipedia Page in Peace?
-
October 20, 2016The New Smoothie Place Around the Corner is Delicious and Definitely Not a Cult!
-
October 19, 2016I Work at the Desk Next to You, and Did You Know I Just Saved Fifteen Seconds Using Keyboard Shortcuts?
-
October 17, 2016I’m One of Those Nice Guys
-
October 14, 2016I’m the Person Everyone is Trying to Convince Not to Vote for Donald Trump on Social Media
-
October 4, 2016Wedding Vows to My Work Wife
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
June 17, 2025I’ve Figured Out What My Mayoral Run Is Missing: I Need to Start Sexually Harassing Women
-
June 17, 2025Minutes from the Latest Meeting of the Council of Landlords
-
June 17, 2025McSweeney’s Books: A Q&A with Tucker Nichols and McSweeney’s Art Director Sunra Thompson about the New Book, Mostly Everything: The Art of Tucker Nichols
-
June 17, 2025Welcome to WeStillWork, the Nursing Home for People Who Can’t Afford to Retire